Swat!
Damn bugs…
Oh, hello, kiddies, didn’t see you there.
No need to hide in the shadows—you never know what’s lurking
around in there with you!
So, come closer round the fire. It’s that time of year
again, and I know you’re all just dying to hear what I’ve chosen to regale you
with tonight.
Last Halloween I introduced you to the Jersey Devil, Mother
Leed’s thirteenth child—and what a bouncing bundle of joy he turned out to be,
hmmm?
After thumbing through my encyclopedia of cryptozoology and
its denizens there in—you know, such frightening “figments of the imagination”
as the Loch Ness Monster, the yeti, and the Chupacabra. Not all of them are
make-believe, kiddies—example, the okapi, the bondegezou, the koolakamba (no,
I’m not making them up – go check your dictionary); they were once thought to
be imaginary, too, but the skeptics were proved wrong. Then there’s those
things thought long dead, completely vanished, that one day turn up very much
alive—take the coelacanth, a fish from the time of the dinosaurs, deceased, so
it was said, for sixty-five million years. Then one was caught off the coast of
South Africa—guess nobody told him he was extinct. Next there’s those truly
terrifying creatures one wishes was imaginary, but aren’t, like the IRS man…go
ask your parents…
Seems I’ve strayed off subject…
Swat!
Where’s that can of Raid?
Anyway, tonight I want you to make the acquaintance of—
—the Mothman!
He’s seven-feet tall with huge wings and great big, glowing
red eyes—at least, that’s what those who saw him said.
The Mothman hails from the backwoods of Point Pleasant, West
Virginia. He was first spotted in the fall of 1966 by two young couples out
pitching a little woo by an old ammunitions plant—sounds like a dynamite
evening, huh? Probably out way past ma and pa’s curfew, the youngins were
racing home only to find that something real strange was keeping up with their
car, a car that was speeding at almost one-hundred miles per hour! The scaredy
cats darted straight off to the police, describing their pursuer as a “flying
man with ten foot wings” whose eyes “glowed red” when the car’s headlights hit
them.
The sheriff most likely had a good chuckle that night,
shaking his head, wishing he was getting some backseat action, and putting it
all down to too much moonshine, when the whole town went nuts. Over the next
few days, the “Mothman” as he came to be known, was spotted everywhere. Two
volunteer firemen saw it, claiming it was a “large bird with red eyes”. A Point
Pleasant contractor alleged that when he aimed a flashlight at the thing its
eyes shone “like bicycle reflectors”, and he went on to accuse it for the weird
buzzing noises coming from his TV set as well as for the disappearance of the
family dog. A woman saw it lurking on her front porch, peering in at the
windows. Five gravediggers in an area cemetery said that something that looked
like a “brown human being” lifted off from the trees and flew over their heads,
adding that they were dang sure that it was no bird, but more like some guy
with wings. Another woman maintained that she saw it rise up right in front of
her car, calling it, “A big gray thing. Bigger than a man with terrible glowing
eyes.”
Over one-hundred people claimed sightings of the Mothman
from November 1966 to November 1967. Gossip was rife—UFOs were blamed, so was
an eighteenth-century Indian curse. Some said that it was nothing but a big
bird—possibly a sandhill crane lost on its migration route to or from Canada;
they stood tall and had massive wingspans. Those with more active imaginations
came up with the theory that it was not just a big bird, but that it was a big
mutant bird, transformed into a monster by the fount of unknown chemicals
leaching out of that old TNT plant, professed to be the creature’s lair. It
racked up quite a rap sheet of disturbing the peace violations—screeching at
hunters, and hovering and humming over the heads of fishermen, and it had a
fondness for jumping on the car roofs of teenagers parked in the local lovers’
lane. Investigations were made, all clues scrutinized, but nothing was found,
no concrete evidence ever turned up one way or the other to tell anybody just
what in tarnation was going on.
A sense of unease gripped, good folk whispering that maybe,
just maybe, the thing was a harbinger of doom.
And maybe, just maybe, they were right.
On December 15, 1967, during the height of the holiday
evening rush hour, the suspension bridge linking Point Pleasant, West Virginia,
with Gallipolis, Ohio, over the Ohio River, collapsed, taking forty-six people
to a watery grave.
Coincidence?
Cryptid, alien, sandhill crane, or harbinger of doom
notwithstanding, you just can’t keep a good Mothman down. Like Nessie and
Bigfoot, he’s become part of everyday lore. He’s the topic of a plethora of
books—both fiction and non—the most famous being, 1975’s The Mothman
Prophecies, by John Keel, which was the basis for the 2002 film of the same
name, starring Richard Gere and Alan Bates. He’s also flitted across the screen
in the 2010 movie, Mothman, and in episodes of the television series, The
X-Files and Lost Tapes, and he’s the focus of two documentaries, Eyes
of the Mothman and Mothman Country. “Mothman” is even the alias for
a gravity-defying superhero in Alan Moore’s celebrated graphic novel, Watchmen.
Then there’s Point Pleasant’s Mothman Museum and Research
Center, and the annual Mothman Festival, held every third weekend in September
in Point Pleasant, which celebrated its tenth anniversary this year. There you
can satisfy your Mothman cravings with Christmas ornaments, t-shirts, bumper
stickers, Frisbees, and cuddly Mothmen of every size, shape, and material. You
can chow down on Mothman burgers, Mothman pizza, and Mothman pancakes; drink
coffee out of your Mothman mug, swig beer from your Mothman stein. The town’s
actually dedicated a statue to their main money-maker, a twelve-foot, gleaming
stainless steel tribute, at the corner of 4th and Main. It has
football-sized clear, red eyes, which were supposed to light up at night, but
funds ran a bit short.
Too bad.
Where else in America could you see such a monument to a
monster?
He sure beats the World’s Biggest Washboard and the Pencil
Sharpener Museum located not too far away.
Swat!
There you have it, kiddies…
Scared?
Well, don’t worry—just keep your wool sweaters in a closed
drawer and put a box of mothballs under your bed tonight.
(Point) Pleasant dreams…
Happy Halloween!

2 comments:
LOVE IT!! Ever heard of the kooky monster we supposedly have here in MO call MoMo?
Awesome! :D
You should take a stab at some internet-created urban legends, called Creepypastas. There's no shortage of terrifying creatures there...
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